I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
