the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
please don't ironically join a cult
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