I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
