Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
