why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
