are you still at the devil's house?
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
