Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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