these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
