Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
