Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
