he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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