She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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