He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
All the doctor said was why
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
