Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
