i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
