I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She told me I should be a condom model.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
