You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
