my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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