I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Randomize
