I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
