yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
