just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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