I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
