Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
