I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You should frame my arrest warrant.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
