So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
