OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
