Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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