i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
