she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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