yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
