Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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