you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
