Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
