just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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