dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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