What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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