Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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