i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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