We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
