Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
