Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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