i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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