bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
