ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
