Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
