Clothes are such an inconvenience.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
