My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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