I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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