Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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