May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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