i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
