why didn't you poke me back
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Randomize
