I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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