thus making me awesome and them whores
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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